Ic4rus

hmm.. since im single again.

2011-02-13T09:10:00.004+08:00

Dear blog,

Since im back, i think im gonna fill u up again XD..

Hello old me

The Breeze of My Heart

2006-03-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

Swaying breeze why won't you blow me away too,
Further away, away from all the troubles and pain,
Dear breeze will you bring me too,
Places far away, away from the waine.

Tying knots, were my feet now, bound to the ground,
seamed into the fabric and hold me sound,
So breeze will you blow once more,
And bring me to places like once before.

Does it always rain, under the sky so wide,
Will it touch the horizon there before the heavy tide,
Will it drip, and soak my soul to the bone,
Or will you just please call me on the phone.

Will it ever come i wonder,
The breeze and the rain,
Will it moist the evergreen dew,
Will it be the same or ain't?

Mr, Unpopular

2005-11-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

Well, currently having a really damaging phase rite now,
I rather go out alone than going out in a crowd,
I hide in shadows, cloaked by a hood,
Keeping company in books than people in heart.

My mind veers as the situation turn muddle,
My soul backs as the corruption inhaled,
Mr Unpopular, is what i am,
Being alone is what i aim.

The words, the laughs, the sorrows, the tears,
I shut it all, all corners of tiers,
Mosaics of duets, waltz and piers,
Shatters the sunsets the sunrise the arcs i near.

Mr Unpopular, here I am, here i laugh,
Into the void, the doldrums, my heart still,
Hark the heralds, the angle sings,
Here come the jester of loneliness within.

I am reborn the calipsto of torn,
Hidden in asylum, dark unborn,
Haha.... sanity grow thin,
Am i now morbid seen.

ps... no... i am not crazy yet, its just a morbid way of addressing my situation

Sumthing of old

2005-10-05T09:16:00.000+08:00

Sunder, splints, nails and torns,

What will words mean?

Coming from silence of morn,

Darkness veils as only loneliness seen.

Loneliness.... yes.. Darkness...

There is no muse, no sound, nor day,

Where are the birds that greet dawn,

Where oh where does it say,

Oh fair music that can break, darkness like clay.

And there it was, the light,

Smiten me as it changes,

The dance, the steps, the duets,

She sing to me in many faces.

I want to greet,

I instead retreat,

I want to say,

I instead ran away.

I'm a poet that has no own words,

I'm a bird that has no wings,

Nor can it sing,

Im hollow, empty, and no rings.

I've fallen sick... cough... no seriously.. Im sick...

Gettting Older,,,,nuuuuu

2005-09-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

One step closer to heaven.

I guess it comes as soon as you see the candles coming to you.... Its aint that pretty and aint that entertaining either. Well thats my life looking forwards to birthdays... Let me see, 1,2,3,4... gosh... 23 candles.. getting old... but not getting lucky.... wish Hilary Duff drop by though..

Well, putting lucky aside.

Life in class is getting frightfully dready. The equations are just getting more alien by the minute...oh got sum 100% percent lately, but looks like it gonna drop soon. Air Law is a bitch and getting my arsse into it, is really shitty. The guys and I are preparing the arsenal for the exam in DCA... god... it is one of those test. You gotta go all the way down to cyberjaya to do it... No easy way... unless you get the leaked question... fail and you come back later... pass... and you just forget it like the things that you ate somewhere last week... and yeah, its boring....

Well putting airlaw aside.

Turning 23 aint that bad... I think... it beats getting to be 24... Hmm should really take it slow in this getting old thing.. not used to it.. wish werent that many candle to blow... not like im getting any presents.. well not to be a sour puss, my birthday wish is... hmm... dun rally know what to wish for... maybe for my next birthday dun come to soon..

I love this... Gurl.... about Her...Laughs

2005-09-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

Music Video Codes by FreeVideoCodes.com

Rice and Bran

2005-08-07T15:22:00.000+08:00

Rice and bran are both good friends,

They were both different but they are were a pair,

One was slim, the other a bit more fare,

Rice and bran were both always there.

Rice and bran are both still friends,

Till one day, they came to a dare,

One grew up, the other remain stail,

Rice and Bran and another name Dare.

Rice and bran are friends still,

They are now a face and one was the tail,

One was rich, the other went poor,

Rice and Dare, and Bran came poor.

Rice the rich and Bran the poor,

Both were friends and now were foe,

Poor Bran who still remember Rice by name,

Rice on other hand went greedy with fame.

Rice the filth and Bran the poor,

One was greedy and the other was hurt,

Rice got lost in the money he got,

Bran in other hand was still remember his friend by heart.

Then oneday, the story turn side...

Rice came poor,

Not a penny left besides,

Bran was rich,

Till he can't hide.

When Bran found out of what became,

he search high and low for his friend, he aid,

Rice knew, and not want to face,

He hid so far till his legs when dead.

Till the last grain of sand remain,

Rice was bedridden sick and to Bran dismay,

Rice said, " I was once rich and now i'm poor"

"I push you aside and forgotten your name".

"why"

"Do you still remember me by my name?"

"Because dear friend, we were still friends to begin with".

"Viva le Frienship.. Viva le Comment Fren"

Breeze

2005-06-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

Swaying breeze why won't you blow me away too,
Further away, away from troubles and pain,
Dear breeze will you bring me too,
Places far away, away from the waine.

Tying knots, were my feet now, bound to the ground,
It seams into the fabric and hold me bound,
So breeze will you blow once more,
And bring me to place like once before.

Does it always rain, under the sky so wide,
Will it reach there before the heavy tide,
Will it drip, and soak my soul to the bone,
Or will you just please call me on the phone.

Will it ever come i wonder,
The breeze and the rain,
Will it moist the evergreen dew,
Will it be the same or ain't?

Sigh....

8th of May

2005-05-08T19:48:00.000+08:00

Take us to the place where cries turn to laughters,
Where piano keys strides on the silvery ponds,
Longer than the breathe of the trees in autumn,
Deeper than the blue sea of old...

Thats the buried treasures, of old sailors,
Not the gold, but the ones that remains buried,
The ones which remain buried though found,
Alas the one piece, of all spanish gold pieces, the thing call love.

Many still search out for their share,
Many found their share,
I found it not far from home,
But near to me by my side, my shadow, my mum.

She may not be the most shiny pieces,
But she is the most valuable buried piece i will always keep,
No matter how far the apple fall,
It'll never fall far from home.

So dear ma.

Happy Mothers Day

Just Once in a Very Blue Moon... but my nights are always the same...

2005-05-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

So just once a blue moon,
I howl back to you,
To the weak spot in here,
I'm sure its not the beer.

Oh such a blue moon,
Does it ever shine down on you,
To have weak knees in here,
Just to talk alone here.

You left, as if I was always the one,
The one to be forgotten,
More just want to be forgotten,
So they'll never come back here like before.

Dear blue moon.
I hate you so...
You come once in the blue,
But you come to me more...

Frustration due to my own Weakness

2005-02-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

This place is neither here nor there,

Its here but finally it isn't there.

Simple thus our lives are still connected in a network... even if it was severed.. or lost...

It somehow relate back... and intertwine back in our lives...

Though the burden is deep and heavy... its a burden to be beared... not by one... but by many...

Why? when one want to forget.... he remembers...

someone always does...

Sorry... it just had to come out... but nobody listens... and hopefully nobody reads this....

Why does our mind want us to dream...? when we are already awake...

Why do I always try though my head said no.... but the heart beats on...

Why must someone start crying then it stops.... so it can end with a rainbow?

Does a happy ending comes with a tragic beginning?

I like to ask this to whom who can ever answer the unanswerable....

Life... is a journey of no return... thats a lie....

Love is blind... and madness comes.... thats true...

A flower always blooms twice.. i like to see them try....

A land of milk and honey... there is no such place...

Why is there a distance in all things?

Why do I write and yet unanswered?

Why do I even try to write....?

Adourne a year, of relapse and guilt

2005-02-07T19:36:00.000+08:00

The skies here seem so endless.

That was the first thought when i arrive here. As I unpack my things, and put up my stuff, I reached into my sachel and felt something odd inside. i pop my hand out, like David Blaine's does with his magical hat... (if he ever had one) It was old and yet....hmmm i think it needs a bath, it was pretty dusted and torn, god, wonder what happen to it... probably mistook it for one of the stacks of magazine I brought along..(comics too).

As I ran thru the pages, i saw myself so young then.... and uh.. so short too in this book.. It reminded me of how much school was for me. Then, as i peruse the back, signatures of all the people i knew then.. Some, sad to say, I couldn't even remember the faces.. or names as well.

Oh dear...

Now, as I sit down on the chairs in the academy, a sense of dejavu just reminence in the head. Laughter of young lads, not knowing whats installed and some the very too serious types that can't take a bribe.

I miss those times. when i was never down like this.. i cant even crack a smile without showing guilt.. Am I a person that so easily forgoten. i guess i was, a 'never was' then a 'ever will'.

Dear 2005 How are you?

2005-01-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

Dear 2005,

have you been out tonight to star gazed?
Cause I've not expecting to see you so soon,

Dear 2005,

Why are you here really? to taunt me and age me,
Or are you here to change me too.

Dear 2005,

How are you gonna be? Mean or stern or easy to be,
Or you just gonna stand there till the hour tell.

Dear 2005,

Is someone there waiting for me,
Or its just you, waiting for me to move.

Dear 2005,

I'll move, dont worry, ok....
Cause I have to go, to my fate till then.

Dear 2005,

But pls do tell, if she passes thru here,
Do not leave her cold and lone this year,
Will there be someone there to warm her heart,
Till the years, I'll grow apart.

Let me come home, when I see their faces,
Let me be there, though my body is taxed,
I wave goodbye to 2004, I wont lie, it was good till it grew old,

See you there, whenever you get there my frens,
Till I pray we all can yum char one day,

Let your love life be evergreen,
Till I see you all blossom with flowers than weeds,
I'll leave the milk to curdle on a summer breeze,
When I come back before the spring peels, we will have to sample the cheese,
I blessed you till i turn 23....

Now alas, I return home...... I'm back.... home to the skies I loved....
Goodbye 2004, you were nice to me,
Hello 2005, how are you.... really?

Hell yeah.. Im reaching for the Skies

2005-01-17T14:39:00.000+08:00

Hehe..

At last, after the long waits. I'll be able to fly again.

As my faded wings wilt away slowly

My new path emerge in a tinder blue light

Here i am... pick me again

Thank you, god.

For letting me fly again.

Good bye old shoes, that was cursed to the ground

Good bye, be true, to your new owner now,

Good bye, sleepless night and cloudless skies,

Good bye, to the curses of the ground i spite,

Hello dear friends, the vannilla skies,

Hello again now i see you again

Glide I will throught the canvas of nights,

Fly I will, to the horizon of flights,

I'll remember you, I will, I do,

Till I see you again my brown eyes blue.

Ramen and sushi

2004-10-13T16:06:00.000+08:00

"Life is like sushi on a pikachu conveyer belt"

"They wait and wait till somebody pick them up and end their misery"

It ponders in my mind after the statement came in. Then I wonder to myself, what if the sushi nevers get pick?
Will they throw it away or they will be back tomorrow.....

"probably be sold later in a pasar malam later, in a dirt cheap price....."

Does it really matter? Well I thought to myself again. Are we all born into this world to be "picked up" or do we actually pave our own existence. Is our existence so meek and fragile that we can compare ourselve to a hand rolled of rice covered with a thin piece of green vegetation from the sea that has already seen its share, which ... excuse me, sun scorched baked and machined sliced? Then a shadowy figure appears!!!

"your wakayama ramen sir?"

"thanks"

Hmmm slurp...... is our life like a bowl of soup with condiments to compliments, the texture and flavour. Is this life?

Must life be filling and full of oddity and stock. Can life be both simple and yet exciting? Hmm.... i'll never know till I finish the bowl can I?

Slurp... ah.....
To be continued

Look

2004-09-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

Look at these hands,
It has no endless moments,
Look at these fingers,
It shows no relation.

Look out there,
Where I drown in ambition,
Look in here,
I seek internal compassion.

Look in a mirror,
I see myself,
Look in a window,
I seek outer self.

Stop..... looking... I said to myself... and then i look again...

What a loser? and self centred person..who look only on himself and not others...jin hide his face.. due to his vanity

To a friend

2004-09-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

For you my friend,
theres so much to pretend,
Similar to the letters,
We tend to apprehend.

May it be now, or may it be later,
When the tundra of ice turn to sand,
So here for now, my dear friend out there,
i leave a note for the words to air.

May the love of the sun warmth your path,
May the grass grow greener on your part,
May it always seem like a potrait so clear,
May our letters keeps us here.

To the path unknown it bents,
Till the hills, turn to plains of sand,
How it ends, its naught to be seen, (dun know i spell it rite)
May your garden grow ever green.

So there I go again like always,
The words, i'll form out of clay,
May my will write to you, dear friend,
Till our dying days our story ends.

From an Email by Jin

Friends

2004-09-01T13:08:00.000+08:00

I have many friends in my life. I don't know where to start.
But to be truthful, I only have a few, and that makes the most of it all.
MInd you the importance of the people are not in order.... to make sure nobody feel less important.

This guy, has always been there through thick and thin,
No matter how hard I try, I still cannot win, (KOF)
He can count till eleven with his fingers,
Well go figure,
He is my pal, my rival and my best friend entertainer.

This gurl, has both big heart and big assets,
She's pink, but aint no panther,
She likes comic, and para para dancer,
She's sweet and cool and most of all so nice to ask her,
BUt when she angry, she'll do a back breaker.

This guy, has been my big bro from college till now,
He help me up and listen me on,
When I have no place to go, he let me in,
He pushes others away and keep me seen,
He lives in SS2 and also loves Abu and Labi. (Avril Lavigne)

This gurl, lives not very far from my place,
She's fashionable and slim,
She eats kodomo lion tooth paste, (did i spell the toothpaste rite?)
And she remembers everything,
So embrassing moments has no escape.

This gurl, is kindergarden teacher with no principle for that matter, (jokes)
She's nice and understanding and nice to know her,
She's the pink panther, but she's mostly in black,
Hoiwever mind you this she no goth at that,
She's just "jess" and you can think about the rest.

And this end, the 5 closes fren.
Never will I die alone and end,
Cause I have u guys and our new chapter began.

If I walked away

2004-08-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

How did the world come to be?
If I didn't see you again,
How would it be, to be able to see?
If It didn't leave me in pain.

So addicted to the way you frown,
What would you do if I said?
If I wanted you to be down,
Only then I can see you, friend.

After all the words, how do we carry on?
The paintings of a lone tree, it breezes away,
The funny little things you do, how can I look away?
But what would you do, If I walk away?

I have been here before, like the paperwalls I keep changing,
The raspling grass, the rocky waters and the dying days,
It came to me, like a jukebox, old melody played the samed,
All the words, all the faces, all the encounters, its insane.

What would you say I wonder?
Or will it always be like this?
Just silence?
Or will it be a day when you are blue?
and then you can speak to me again.

Days and Nights

2004-08-13T18:24:00.000+08:00

When the sun drifts away,
The moon wakes up to play,
When the Moon falls away,
The sun drifts to the morning bay.

Having frens who are lsimilar like the clouds,
Often it seems, you can't live without,
Having frens who sparkle the darkest of nights,
Often it seems, they come in flights.

So pray to god, our soul to keep,
May life be fill with full of relief.
To have the cloudy days and unlit skies,
To have them sunny and night so bright.

So on cloudy days, I'll keep those tears,
Till the day you come out without fears,
So on unlit skies, I'll keep my window seen,
Till the stars come back from sea.

In other words,When you cry, I'm always here,
Tilll the days, they finally clear,
And on unclear nights, i'll keep you here,
Till the nights, you leave from here.

The Battles Within

2004-08-12T10:04:00.000+08:00

Everyday grows ever frail,
Times wilt and turning so pale,
The age of trees grew old and weak,
The age of iron smoking thick.

We bring our swords, no longer steel,
We bring our armors, no longer shields,
As we walk to our destiny ends,
We sit on metal chariots without sane.

Though everything changes in contraband,
Something always do still remains,
Here we are here in this brotherly war,
Here we are, still brothers and sisters of war.

But, hopefully someday when skies turns clear,
We will all sit together once a year,
To share the stories, to share the pain,
And make our friendship not in vain.

We kill and brute on each others time,
We tear and cry when somebody dies,
But one day my brother, we will all wine,
In vahalla we are all gifted and divine.

Though we fight against and compete,
Remember this my friend, I repeat,
No matter what happens outside,
I will always be by your side in the inside.

(a part of a draft, from my written chapters in "Book of Emperium")

Life in My Little Cubicle

2004-08-11T09:29:00.000+08:00

The grazing grass fickle and play like wild fire, as it breezes by the dry cold wind. Its sweltering hot with a far distant shadow in sight. As the shadow grew thinner, the figure of a rival stood there as if the ground brought him from wherever he was.

As I walked down to the stranger, the strumming of guitar from a spaniard nearby can be heard. The strums keep up with the heartbeat of a second. As I go nearer to the stranger, the strums go ever faster. It was like tango, the only thing different here is that he is a GUY. (I'm no gay)

Then I stop, cause there weren't anymore ground to walk anymore. I reached for the gun... and he said.

"Oiiii.... Jin stop dreaming. Go back work lah dude"

POOOFFF

And there I was on the table, looking at the screen. It seemed that I felll asleep.. ehhehe... Oh well.. back to work...

Hope you guys, enjoying life now. you hear?

The new and still old

2004-08-08T15:48:00.000+08:00

Everyday it always seem to be a goodbye to something old, it always has been that way for me, for another or someone else. Its either an old habit, a trait or the way I speak. I guess in a way, I have to change a lot of 'me'. You know sometimes, you can't get this funny feeling , that you aren't doing your best even though you did? Well I guess it haunts me even more when I try.

Everyday though I learn new things, I tend to dwell on the old. For some reason, I still don't know why. To me, in a way, these things are loose ends and needed to be closed behind. But still the solitary part of youth inside me, just want to turn loose and let go..(lets hope I don't turn crazy just yet) Its as if I'm trying to grow but the past, I can't let go.

I guess its a transition, we all encounter and the sanctuary we try to hide from everyone else. But in a way, it does have its ups. When i run away from the 'real world', I live a life of dreams and fantasy. The lonely bus rides and meeting strangers in the bus. The things we can do, when we aren't living. We can pretend to be angels that walk amongst people. In a way, I like to be alone. but then again, its a solitude place where its llimited to dreams.

The paints of my brushes still paint the lights of the skies, and yet I'm still here looking at the screen hoping they will be someone out there in the other side. People tell me to stop writing poetry cause its a waste of time. But yet i still write, even though I must admit I must change the style.

Well as the new pages of my life seems to unfold every minute, I can't get the feeling that the things of old still remain. The old textbooks, the funny letters, the pranks I did, the jokes I failed, the cards, the embrarassing moments that still haunt me, the ghost stories, the cheeky thoughts will always remain with me.

As in August of eighth, I'm still a little boy of me.

The First Post....

2004-08-08T12:45:00.000+08:00

Things start here like any other day, its as if the morning were shorts and nights were longer. As it passes like a breeze, you can miss it a like a moment and gain it back a second later. The skies seem endless and clouds were like vanilla cream a floating on its surface.

This is my e-diary i think, here I will try to potray my everyday life of myself as interesting as it is or just plain dreamy. Most of the post will be written here. From my most funny moment or moment of others, I heard and seen.

Poetry and other writing can be seen here.